I think it’s time we stopped approaching dates like interviews, and walk into them like that earnest teen we used to be.
The new scorecard makes for a whole new game that still carries on into our 30s. But the parties start to slow. In your 30s, your job can become your social life if you haven't built some longstanding friendships. Typically, meeting new people means being fixed up or meeting someone at a function. Regardless, the next step is the official date. But this is not the date we grew so fond of in our younger years. These days, a date means the audition process has begun. Whereas in youth, my address was relevant to a girl because she had to take the bus to meet me there, now my address says a little something about my status, tastes or what my future looks like. In my teens, the location of the date was an excuse to be anywhere but home, and now it may be a deal breaker if I take her somewhere with menus for place mats.
Romance is great, but where is this going? She was cool, the date was fun, but would she like my family? Should I pay or will that be too aggressive? It’s hard not to feel that youthful innocence has faded and given way to a more calculating exercise.
But, lately, I have begun to wonder if it’s time to stop thinking so much. Maybe it’s time just to be happy to be going out, not worrying about what happens next. What if the same things that excited me about dates in my teens can still work now? Sometimes enjoying the discovery of each other without thinking down the line is as simple as deciding that's what you’re going to do. Of course our lives have changed since we were teenagers, but that doesn’t mean we can’t let the 16-year-old in us enjoy the early stages of attraction before the adult in us starts asking too many questions.
I think it’s time we stopped approaching dates like interviews, and walk into them like that earnest teen we used to be. I know I make it sound easy, and it really isn’t, but nobody said this would be easy. But maybe it can still be fun. Like it used to be. Save the questions for later. Though you still may be asking yourself how to undo that bra.
The new scorecard makes for a whole new game that still carries on into our 30s. But the parties start to slow. In your 30s, your job can become your social life if you haven't built some longstanding friendships. Typically, meeting new people means being fixed up or meeting someone at a function. Regardless, the next step is the official date. But this is not the date we grew so fond of in our younger years. These days, a date means the audition process has begun. Whereas in youth, my address was relevant to a girl because she had to take the bus to meet me there, now my address says a little something about my status, tastes or what my future looks like. In my teens, the location of the date was an excuse to be anywhere but home, and now it may be a deal breaker if I take her somewhere with menus for place mats.
Romance is great, but where is this going? She was cool, the date was fun, but would she like my family? Should I pay or will that be too aggressive? It’s hard not to feel that youthful innocence has faded and given way to a more calculating exercise.
But, lately, I have begun to wonder if it’s time to stop thinking so much. Maybe it’s time just to be happy to be going out, not worrying about what happens next. What if the same things that excited me about dates in my teens can still work now? Sometimes enjoying the discovery of each other without thinking down the line is as simple as deciding that's what you’re going to do. Of course our lives have changed since we were teenagers, but that doesn’t mean we can’t let the 16-year-old in us enjoy the early stages of attraction before the adult in us starts asking too many questions.
I think it’s time we stopped approaching dates like interviews, and walk into them like that earnest teen we used to be. I know I make it sound easy, and it really isn’t, but nobody said this would be easy. But maybe it can still be fun. Like it used to be. Save the questions for later. Though you still may be asking yourself how to undo that bra.
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