Much like you would never burn a bridge with a client, it is never worthwhile to leave a woman with a poor opinion of you.
I told her the truth. I told her that we had fun, but I am not in
the same place and that we should both move on. She thanked me for my
honesty and we parted ways as well as I could have expected. I felt
better and she got the honesty she deserved. By taking the initiative, I
avoided finding myself again with vodka and cranberry juice dripping
down my face after a spiteful former lover expressed her disapproval of
my complete avoidance tactic. True story. The fact is, there was a
benefit to taking control. I treated her with common courtesy, and that
will make it easy to meet her gaze should we run into each other.
Much like you would never burn a bridge with a client, it is never worthwhile to leave a woman with a poor opinion of you. The world is a small place, and we never know where mishandling a relationship can come back and bite us. Reputation is a powerful thing, and given how easily people can get in touch via social media, it can precede you more easily than ever. If your particular reputation starts involving numerous incidents of abandonment without explanation, you’re in for some awkward conversations. Believe it.
The flip side to this is that a good reputation can start having some real positive effects on your dating life. If it didn’t work with the girl you met at that party, but you ended things with class and a dose of respect, that same girl may know other girls you are interested in pursuing. Now when she is asked about you, much as she may want to hang you out to dry, she’ll probably admit you’re a stand-up guy. “Sure, he ended it, but he wasn’t a jerk about it. Maybe you guys will be a better fit” is much better than, “He’s an asshole. He just completely blew me off.” People talk, and if you travel in a relatively small social circle, it is important to manage these awkward endings with as much decency as possible.
It’s worth mentioning before I sign off that I’m talking specifically about relationships that haven’t turned serious yet. Breaking up from a committed relationship obviously requires a different approach. But making an exit before things get serious can only be handled one way. You need to be straightforward. You need to make it clear that you are happy to have tried, but are moving on. At the very least, she will have to respect that, and, at most, she will speak highly of you for doing so. Everyone deserves closure. Think of it as a favor to your future self.
Much like you would never burn a bridge with a client, it is never worthwhile to leave a woman with a poor opinion of you. The world is a small place, and we never know where mishandling a relationship can come back and bite us. Reputation is a powerful thing, and given how easily people can get in touch via social media, it can precede you more easily than ever. If your particular reputation starts involving numerous incidents of abandonment without explanation, you’re in for some awkward conversations. Believe it.
The flip side to this is that a good reputation can start having some real positive effects on your dating life. If it didn’t work with the girl you met at that party, but you ended things with class and a dose of respect, that same girl may know other girls you are interested in pursuing. Now when she is asked about you, much as she may want to hang you out to dry, she’ll probably admit you’re a stand-up guy. “Sure, he ended it, but he wasn’t a jerk about it. Maybe you guys will be a better fit” is much better than, “He’s an asshole. He just completely blew me off.” People talk, and if you travel in a relatively small social circle, it is important to manage these awkward endings with as much decency as possible.
It’s worth mentioning before I sign off that I’m talking specifically about relationships that haven’t turned serious yet. Breaking up from a committed relationship obviously requires a different approach. But making an exit before things get serious can only be handled one way. You need to be straightforward. You need to make it clear that you are happy to have tried, but are moving on. At the very least, she will have to respect that, and, at most, she will speak highly of you for doing so. Everyone deserves closure. Think of it as a favor to your future self.
No comments:
Post a Comment